


It's just so hard to see tomorrow past tonight.

by LongLiveQueliot



Category: Queliot - Fandom, The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-04 00:30:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17888078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LongLiveQueliot/pseuds/LongLiveQueliot
Summary: Knowing Eliot is alive, Quentin will do anything to get him back – anything. But once he’s back, what next? There’s so much unresolved between them.A conversation completely inspired by the song Peaches by The Front Bottoms.





	It's just so hard to see tomorrow past tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by 4x05 and song Peaches by The Front Bottoms.
> 
>  
> 
> This fic is for Martha, Sophie & Yulia.

“I don’t think I understand exactly what you’re doing Q.”

 

Julia was doing her best not to be judgey but her tone didn’t fool Quentin. He knew that doubt she had was boiling just under her surface. Julia had been the only thing keeping Q going for the past year. Even when things were truly fucked up, she stayed and helped him.

 

“Look, I get it. I do. There’s no reason we should trust him to keep his word but you have to know-” his voice broke, he’d been playing the part of the brave sidekick to an evil, albeit childlike monster for too long. He wasn’t the same person he was when he walked into Brakebills. He had become stronger. His hair no longer hid his face, his stammering had almost disappeared. There was a confidence that couldn’t be ignored but right now, none of that was evident. The layers of disguise he’d built up faded away exposing the honesty of his fragile state.

 

“I do know Q.” Julia reached out to him, her arms pulling him in. Wrapped in her arms, the warmth of a loving embrace, Quentin sobbed. He only needed to be brave a little longer, at least he hoped. Lingering momentarily in the hug, he managed to stop the tears. There was no time to revert back into who he used to be. He pulled away cautiously, no one, not even Julia was going to change his mind.

 

“I love him Julia. You know that right? He’s my person and I have to do this.”

 

 

“I just really hate that he’s making you do this alone. We can’t trust him. How do we even know if it’s going to work?”

 

 

“I’d rather risk it then never get Eliot back. Margo got me the pocket watch from the White Lady, it’s supposed to work just like the button did. It’ll get us to the Neitherlands and from there we’ll go to Fillory. I don’t know what kind of shape Eliot’s going to be in but the centaurs are the logical choice for treatment.”

 

He was rambling, shifting his body from side to side. His fingers fidgeted, rubbing against one another in small furious circles.   

 

“I just worry about you Q. It’s the Monster, we have no reason to trust him.”

 

“There’s no other options Julia.”

 

She sighed, he was right. She’d spent months researching and every little thing found was a dead end. The only option had been to get the Monster back into his own body.

 

\------------------------------

 

“Quentin, there you are.”

 

“I have all the pieces. Are you ready to go?” Refusing to meet the monsters eyes, Quentin glowered at his feet.

 

Skipping, the Monster approached. His focus fixed on the floating trunk. A trunk full dead God parts the Monster had collected. It had taken them well over a year to get them all but after they had finally located and killed Enyo they were almost done.

 

Julia’s research on the page she gave the Monster let her confident that he could use the pieces to rebuild his body (or maybe get him a new body – they weren’t quite sure how it all would play out). But the Monster never fully trusted Julia so it had been made clear that she could not come. Specifically he had said only Quentin could come.

 

The Monster trusts Quentin, something Q is well aware of. If Q was being honest with himself, he was glad to have the trust. It enabled him to keep an eye on Eliot’s body. Keeping the Monster safe and happy meant that Eliot could still maybe come back. Each God they helped him kill was a step closer to Eliot.

 

A quick breeze enclosed as the cold of a hand braced on Quentin’s shoulder. The room they had been transported was pitch black. Like second nature, Quentin flicked his fingers until there was dim light. The small room contained only one thing and it was oddly tomb like. A great thud reverberated as the tomb flew open. The Monster was wasting no time.

 

It took hours to place all the parts into the tomb. The Monster would make them glow and Quentin had to translate where they were supposed to be placed.

 

“This is the last one, I don’t think we need to translate it. There is only one place left to put it.”

 

The smile the Monster shot at him filled Quentin with trepidation.

 

“Wait! Umm, sorry but before you do that -”

 

 

“Quentin, I said you can keep this body. I won’t need it anymore.”  

 

Convincing himself to trust the Monster was not easy but this was the only option. Watching, frozen as the Monster dropped the last piece into the tomb.

 

A golden glow filled the air, soft until blinding. Even through his closed eyes, the golden glow was all Quentin could see. The smell reminded him of burning hair. Humid warmth was all he could feel. He placed his hand in his pocket, feeling for the pocket watch. All he needed to do was open it, the touch of the clock to get away.

 

A gust threw Quentin back into a wall, then glow was gone. With the air knocked out of him, Quentin opened his eyes. The Monster was gone, the tomb was gone.

 

All that remained was the empty trunk and Eliot’s body.

 

“At least he’s still intact.” Quentin said out loud to himself.

 

Each step was slow. Even in the poorly lit room Quentin could see the rise and fall of breathing. He bent down, looking at the face of the man he loved. He’d stared at the face for months knowing it wasn’t Eliot looking back at him. Somehow, even unconscious, Quentin knew that it was no longer the Monster. The soft sadness of the beautiful face was all Eliot.

 

Pain surged through him as he tried to lift Eliot. The impact of the crash had shattered his shoulder. Splintered wood peaked through his faux skin.

 

Relief waived over him as he realized this didn’t impact his hands. It took all his effort but he’d managed to use magic to get Eliot’s limp body into the trunk. Quentin wrapped his good arm around the long legs poking out, making sure to keep his palm against the trunk. His free hand found the pocket watch, flicking it open, resolute on their next destination as he pressed against the face of the clock.

 

\------------------------------

The journey to the Neitherlands felt like a blur. Quentin could remember pulling the trunk into the Fillory fountain. He remembered the carriage that waited for them in Fillory. He even remembered trying to force the centaurs to leave him alone so he could focus on Eliot. What he couldn’t remember was when he lost that fight.

 

The déjà vu of waking up on the uncomfortable slab of wood. The exposed wooden shoulder, the same nurse, the same injury; it had taken him a moment to realize that he wasn’t reliving the past.

 

“Welcome back.”

 

“Where’s Eliot?”

 

The nurse smiled at him, her gentle face eased some of his anxiety.

 

“High King Margo insisted that a special wing be built specifically for his arrival. We’ll need to make our way to the other side of the grounds. Follow me, be careful as you step off, it’s a long way down for human legs.”

 

The walk had only taken ten minutes but somehow each second felt like an epoch. Each step made his heart beat faster. Quentin felt like he was gasping for air, choking on nothing. His fingers numb, the pins and needles spreading to his wrists. He had to focus on the in’s and out’s of his breathing to calm himself. This was no time for a panic attack.

 

When they finally arrived Quentin almost wanted to laugh. It was a lavender temple like structure adorned with golden flowers. Nothing about it was practical, even the entrance, eight foot tall French doors that had real gold panels instead of windows. But everything about it reflected how much Margo loved Eliot. She’d been unable to help and this wing, it was her temple to Eliot.

 

“Would you like to go in alone?”

 

 

“How is he?”

 

 

“Still lost in slumber but we are sure he is alive and back in his consciousness.”

 

“Ok, thank you. Yeah, I’ll go in alone.”

 

The nurse smiled, her hand grazed against Quentin’s cheek. He couldn’t hide his nervousness from her, not that he was trying.

 

“Maybe you are what he needs to wake.”

 

 

“I hope so.” Quentin turned, walking up the temple steps.

 

\------------------------------

 

Quentin felt like he was in a shrine, Eliot lay on top of an enormous pillowed cot. Golden Fillorian silk draped over him. His face was serene, as if he had peace, at least Quentin hoped. Standing with his back against the door, afraid to walk to Eliot. Afraid of what would come next, if anything could come next.

 

“I really fucking missed you El. You have no idea what I had to do just to get you here. I had to be strong for you El. I would have died for you -” he was sobbing again. Finally ready to walk to Eliot, to close the space between them, to be near him. The heat of the tears trailed down his pink cheeks.

 

Quentin joining in the cot, pushing the silk away, afraid to disturb Eliot’s peace.  Gradually scooching himself closer until he could feel the warmth of Eliot’s breathing. Propping himself on his newly repaired wooden shoulder, he gazed down at Eliot. His curls sat perfectly unkempt about the pillow. His lips seemed so inviting, Quentin didn’t realize he had brought them to his own. Their hearts beat as one and a chill filled the room. The once still lips now buzzing against his own. A hand softly caresses through his long locks. Afraid to open his eyes but he does, he must.

 

The amber of Eliot’s wide eyes burns through Quentin.

 

“Hey Q.”

 

 

“Eliot?”

 

 

“You saved me.”

 

 

“I did. I’d do anything for you Eliot. You know that right? You know I love you. Peaches and plums, right?” What had started out confident had ended anything but.

 

 

“We have a lot to talk about, don’t we?”

 

Quentin nodded. All the strength and courage he had found the past year was gone. He had been stronger for Eliot but now was different. Now the rejection came flooding back to him. His mouth opened but only a rush of unintelligible stammers came out.

 

“Calm down Q, think before you talk.”

 

 

“You died on me once Eliot but you knew how much I loved you. Why are you smiling? There’s nothing to smile about.”

 

 

“You Q, you’re the reason I am smiling. You saved me.”

 

 

“You… you didn’t want me anymore.” Quentin wasn’t sure why he’d soured, he’d been on the verge of dying for Eliot but the resentment, it flowed through him angrily.

 

 

“Think about your life Q, I am only going to drag you down. Can’t you see I am trying to save you? I don’t want to drag you into my darkness.”

 

 

“Eliot! You’re my light. When I am with you, I don’t need to hide. Whatever you think you might do to me, I don’t fucking care. Eliot, I will fight you forever on this because I know, I know you love me to just stop trying to protect me. I don’t need protecting, I just need you.”

 

 

“I want you to find someone who will love you like you deserve.”

 

 

“I deserve you El. I’ve been loved by you and I know how wonderful it is. You can’t sit here and try to convince me otherwise. You act like being with you is a punishment, well I got news for you. I’ll happily serve this sentence the rest of my life. When will you learn that?”

 

 

“I know I do things wrong Quentin, it’s just so hard to see tomorrow past tonight. When I was trapped in there, you were my sanity. I know it’s my own fear an insecurities that keep pushing you away. I am sorry about what I said to you when we got our memories back.”

 

 

“None of the matters now El. I understood, when you came to me, I could see it in your eyes once I was sure they were your eyes.”

 

 

“I need to say this though Q, I promised myself if you got me out of there that I wouldn’t make the same mistake again which I already tried to do so not off to a good start but let’s be honest, consistency, not my best quality.

“The first time I met you, I was instantly attracted. I wasn’t sure why, you were cute but this was different. You were like a magnet drawing me in, I couldn’t avoid it not that I wanted to. With time I knew that I had fallen in love with you. When I knew it felt sudden but I’d realized being trapped that I probably loved you from the first moment. That was one of my favorite memories.

“You’re a mess most of the time Q, there is no denying that but you are also loyal, kind, caring… good and true. Our life together in Fillory, it was the best time of my life and I know it’s because I had you. I felt complete. My insecurities, they just melted away there. When the memories came back, I knew I was happy, I knew I loved you but I hadn’t been changed by Fillory and our life. I was absorbing those memories but I was still the me of that moment. Still the damaged person hiding under this false projection I want people to see. Trapped in that Monster, I was forced to do a lot of reflection. I lived my happiest moments but then, I made myself live through the worst ones to.”

 

 

“Why did you do that El?”

 

 

“To get back to you Q. It was the only way I could try, it gave me that flash to let you know I was alive.”

 

 

“Oh.”

 

 

“My worst memory, it wasn’t killing Logan or any of the terrible shit my dad did.” Eliot sat still for a second. The rush of emotion surged through him. He was afraid but there was no time for that. He was finally back, finally aware, finally with Quentin. “My worst memory was when we got our memories from Fillory back. You bared yourself to me and I knew, I knew how sincere you were being, I knew how important that moment was. I was scared Q. I let my insecurities convince me that we couldn’t work here. I was afraid Q and when I am afraid I run.”

 

 

“Run all you want Eliot, I will always chase after you. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”

 

 

“Quentin Coldwater, you are what kept me going. You make me a braver person because I’ve seen you be brave for the people you love, I learned it from you Q. I am sorry that I didn’t let us have the chance to be happy here.”

 

 

“Eliot, what’s stopping us now? Nothing has changed, I still love you and I still believe in us. Losing you to the Monster didn’t change that. It made me love you more because I was terrified I’d never see you again. I thought I’d lost you, he told me you were dead…. I almost… almo… I almost killed your body El!”

 

Shaking, unable to bring his eyes back to Eliot’s. He was putting his heart on the line again, hoping that Eliot was finally on the same page. Terrified that when given the choice Eliot still wouldn’t choose him.

 

“El, I know, I know you think that with a choice, that I, I wouldn’t pick you but... but that’s not true because I did. I did choose you El. I was choosing you. Why couldn’t you see that? You wanted me to feel wrong, like because you’re a man I’d want a woman. I am not that simple Eliot. I’ve loved you, all of you, more than any woman I’ve ever known. I knew that I would always choose you.” He paused, finally bringing his eyes to meet the watery eyes of the man he loved. “I just need you to choose me to El.”

 

 

“You are my peach.” Eliot said, mingling his fingers in between Quentin’s.

 

 

“You are my plum.” Squeezing back.

 

 

“I choose you Q. I love you.”

 

 

“Where do we go from here?” Quentin asked through a smile.

 

 

“We have our whole lives to figure that out Q. How about right now we just enjoy this moment.”

 

Eliot playfully patted the pillow as he laid himself back down, Quentin curled into his side. The familiar scent of Eliot’s skin engulfed his senses. This moment was worth everything he had sacrificed to get Eliot back. A gentle kiss blessed Quentin’s forehead. Snuggled into Eliot, no idea what would come next, Quentin found it hard to keep his eyes open. Eliot threw the silk blanket over Quentin, adjusting himself so there was no space between their bodies. It felt familiar but somehow new.

 

The world began to blur but for the first time in a very long time, Quentin felt safe falling asleep. He finally had what he needed. He finally had Eliot back.

 


End file.
